Tradwives, TikTok, and the Hidden Danger of the Internet

When we think of the dangers of the Internet, worst-case scenarios always come to mind — pedophiles, predators, hackers, and scammers.

But what if the real danger is exposing your potentially impressionable offspring to ideologies that are fundamentally different from your ancestors?

I’ve watched a lot of videos of what is known as Translators Stitched in videos with people refuting it.

For those of you who haven’t seen the latest Tik Tok Techniques for stitching one video to another include trimming part of a single video and including a piece of caption at the end.

Tradwife is the bearer of the traditional wife. Basically, these women toss the benefits of living a life of servitude to their husbands. Quitting their jobs and filling their day with housework and maintaining their physical appearance.

“It is hard to understand why these young women would want to give up the rights that women before them fought so hard to win.”

This isn’t about giving stay-at-home moms tips to make life easier.

Last week I saw a video of a woman from a southern state in America talking about some of the rules she and her husband live by.

One is that they are not allowed to register for classes (both are still attending university) where the teacher is of a different gender.

They are not allowed to sit next to a person of the opposite sex.

They are not allowed to reply to people who are not the same gender on the school message boards…the list goes on.

At first, I thought it was satire. Then I looked back through her videos, and it turns out she might have been real.

These are influencers of a different kind. They are not pushing teeth whitening or lip fillings for your kids, but rather a lifestyle built on the oppression of women.

I thought Andrew Tate was scary, but I think this is even worse. He is more crafty. When he’s saying things about how “Western women” don’t know how to act towards their partners, it’s easy to identify as misogynistic but when these sweet young ladies preach, it’s hard to see it for what it is.

I mean, who doesn’t want to get out in the house, cook delicious meals, and look his best?

It is hard to understand why these young women would want to give up the rights that women before them fought so hard to win.

Maybe it’s because they want to appeal to young people so they can tell them what they think they want to hear, a “pick me” style.

Maybe they really think this is their goal.

I understand the yearning for a simpler time—this generation had a pretty bloody rough trot. They’ve seen two global financial crises, a global pandemic, and they’ll probably never be able to buy homes in the capitals where the jobs are, but the answer isn’t to give in to nostalgia. Women had fewer rights.

Unfortunately, experts agree that the more power you give up—be it financial or otherwise—the more likely you are to be a victim of spousal abuse.

Lauren Sheridan, M.D., assistant professor, forensic psychologist, and expert on abusive relationships, told me that male domestic violence perpetrators tend to hold negative attitudes about patriarchy, misogyny, and the use of violence to resolve conflicts.

Therefore, they will choose a partner who is compatible with their patriarchal and misogynist beliefs perhaps someone who looks and acts like one of these wives – a more passive or submissive partner.

Unfortunately, it is a self-perpetuating cycle, the victim will act in a certain way that attracts a certain partner, and then the behavior is reinforced by trying to avoid being abused.

I am in no way trying to blame the victims for the situations they find themselves in, just describing the dynamic that goes on in these relationships.

Listen, I’m not trying to be alarmist about the whole thing. I think there’s a lot of fun to be found watching reels and TikToks, but I think it’s important to be aware of what’s out there so you can at least counter the narrative if a guy you’re interested in starts having these kinds of thoughts.